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I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.

I AM CRAZY! I AM SNARKY! I AM CRASS! I AM A SMART ASS!

Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)






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WARNING! WARNING!

WARNING! WARNING!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Sex is Addicting

I have thought about posting this all day. I am not sure how well this will go over, but I am all about realism and showing my real life...so here it goes.
About a year and half ago our family (minus Laney, of course) were on the way to dinner. The kids were in the back of the truck gibbering as usual. Any parent know this is instant comedy! The thoughts of a 7 and 9 year old are astounding! On this particular day my ears really perked up because they were talking about sex! WHAT! OMHC (OM holy crap). WOW! Matt was telling Ansley what sex was. Well needless to say he was wrong!
I sat there in shock while I listened. I was not quite sure how to proceed. Hum! I ugh, hum! Yeah, not so ready for that conversation. I thought about it and decided the cats outta the bag. I might as well make the best of it.
As we sat down to dinner I broached the subject. Both of them were mortified. They might not know what sex was, but they sure knew they were not suppose to be talking about it! I never chastised them. I just simply ask what they thought they knew. Anyway, not to drag this out...we had what I feel like was an age appropriate discussion and cleared some things up. We also opened the door for them to ask us respectful questions at any time. Well Matthew was just totally disgusted by the whole thing and he thought anyone who had sex was nuts. He stated, "No way. No how."

So since then the subject popped up occasionally. Especially when I became prego. We just deal on their level and move on. Oh I do want to say that they were told not to share any information with other kids. We told them it was mommy and daddy's jobs to talk to kids, not other kids!

That brings me to today. Well, Matthew is a recent DARE graduate. He went through the program and learned all about drugs and addictions. It is a very good program. That being said here is the conversation I had with him today.

Matt: I want you to have another baby.

Me: We have talked about this. You know when mama had Laney the doctor made it where I can't have babies anymore.

Matt: So, I want you to have more babies! I want you to have 12!

Me: Ok, well you are nuts. 3 is the perfect number for us, and that is what God gave us!

Matt: Well God can give you more even if you are broke.

Me: Well yeah, but not likely.
Matt: Well I will pray, and you do it a lot and we will have some more.

Holy Poopie! Did my 10 year old just tell me to have sex?

Me: I don't think it works like that.

Matt: Oooooh Mama! I saw on TV that it can be addicting. You can go crazy and want it all the time and end up doing it in parking lots and stuff.

Me: Doing WHAT!

Matt: You know, that sex stuff. I aint getting addicted. I told you I aint doing that junk.

OMHC!

Me: Son, where did you see this at?

Matt: Tru TV

Me: Why are you watching Tru TV?

Matt: I wanted to watch the governors show.

Ok now I am to the WTF

Me: What governors show?

Matt: You know (like I know everything) Jessie the body. He has a new show starting the 7th.

How does every single conversation I have with this child come back to friggin wrestling???

Me: Well Tru TV is for adults, so I am sure it is an adult show. I don't think you need to watch that any more.

Matt: ok mama!

There you have it! Don't have sex because it is addictive and you might go crazy and do "it" in parking lots.
However, I am happy that he still has this same opinion. I wonder how long it will last??

I don't make this crap up! I swear! LOL

1 comment:

  1. OMHC (I liked that use of OM) That is just way tooo cute! And wouldn't it be so nice if that opinion lasted in him until at least the age of 18... or 30?? Sadly it doesn't!

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