WELCOME! COME IN AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!



I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.

I AM CRAZY! I AM SNARKY! I AM CRASS! I AM A SMART ASS!

Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)






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WARNING! WARNING!

WARNING! WARNING!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hey everyone! I am finally doing this blog thing that I have been thinking about for awhile. I started with face book about 6 months ago and I realized after changing my status 10 times a day that I have a lot of stuff to say. Most of if is totally useless junk, but it is in my head and must escape. A little about me. I am a stay at home mom (SAHM). I am married to a wonderful man and have 3 wonderful children. Everything I write about is from my real life, and this ought to be interesting. My name is April and I am 32 y/o. I have lived in the South all of my life. I was an only child until I was 11 years old. That is when my bother, Jeff (aka Cookie) was born. My parents divorced when I was 13 y/o. My dad is a jerk and my mother is looney as hell! I married as soon as I graduated from HS. Well, naturally that didn't work out! Two years and a lot of heartbreak later I asked for a divorce. Here I was 20 y/o and could do anything in the world, and what do I do? Get married again. Sigh. I got married to my first boyfriend I ever had. The ink was not even dry before I was swooped up into his world where he would take care of me and we could have a family...blah,blah,blah. We did have children. Two totally awesome, smart, beautiful children. First a son, Matt, who is 10. Then a daughter, Ansley (Lulu), who is 9. I am not going into all the nitty gritty parts, but my ex is friggin nuts, and a true dumb ass. We refer to him as DA in real life, and that suits him here also. DA and I were married for 8 long years. Three of which I tried to escape his crazy ass. I was soooo done with men. I ment it! I did my wild thing when DA and I split. The bar scene is only cool for a little while. I knew I could stand on my own feet and I did then BAM, here he came. My prince. I could get all sappy and gross, but I won't. My husband, Dean,and I have the perfect relationship for us. We understand each other, and allow us to be who we are. We married in 2006 and welcomed a daughter, Laney-Claire (Toot) in March 09. So why am I starting a blog? Well I use to work and I had the opportunity to get all this crap outta my head. Now I can only tell Katie. She doesn't really care. She is too busy trying to figure out what she is going to get into next. This blog is things that happen, my thoughts, and reviews. I have an opinion about everything! Sometimes good, sometimes not. My favorite line from a movie is "You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me". That is from Steele Magnolias, the best chick flick. That kinda sums up who I am. I am not really mean, all the time. I do gossip. I love reality TV. It is like watching a train wreck. You shouldn't be watching, but you can't stop. I am not really Earthy and eco friendly. I need to do better. I have a VERY smart ass sense of humor. I talk (and type) southern. I say what I think, most of the time. If you don't want to know what I think, don't ask. I am super shy, but no one knows it. I love God and my family above all. I am Catholic. I am center-right. I am pro military and the granddaughter of a veteran that served in 3 wars. I support the troops, and their families. I hate ignorance. If you speak of something I think you must know what you are talking about. It is ok, and better, to say "I don't know". All people are different. I embrace all cultures and beliefs. They may be different then mine, but I respect all. I can not stand arrogant people. Lord, there is so much about me. I guess you will get to know me through my posts.
Ok, so I have written enough that you prolly thing I am totally stuck on myself! I look forward to blogging! See yall around!

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