I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.


Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)




Monday, November 16, 2009

Moo Moo Mommy Monday

Welp. I have to lose weight. It really sucks. I love being fat. I love food and I hate exercise. Love it,hate it. This might contribute to why I have been a fatty all my life. Oh how I wish I could love to run like the wind. Oh how I wish I could love healthy foods, cooked healthy ways.
Well apparently if you change your lifestyle my wishes can come true. Ok, so that means I have to get off my lazy butt and get moving...and stop eating. Sounds simple! Why the hell is it so hard? I will tell you why! It is an effin conspiracy! Little Debbie is a friggin bitch that is trying to kill me! She is one of the voices in my head. "April...wouldn't brownies be realllly good right now?". She will not shut the eff up either! I will tell her "Debbie, I am a diabetic. I brownies are not good for me. No, no brownies. What about a carrot?" Then the bitch gets all pissy! Have you ever dealt with a pissy voice in your head? Ugh!
"I don't want a mother effin carrot! One little brownie will not raise your sugar much! You have not even ate today! Come on let's eat a brownie."
This battle goes on and on. I never win. She always wins. Bitch.
Anyway, it is time. I have to kill her before she kills me. There aint nobody else that can run my tribe like me, so I really have to do something fast.
Enter, Moo Moo Mommy Monday. I am an avid blog reader. It is really quite a horrible addiction. During my adventures in reading blogs I found a lot of mommies have themes for certain days of the week. Well Mondays are declared my official weigh in day. So I am going to moo on over to the scale and listen to it scream as I step on..."Ahhhh I thought Debbie killed this fat bitch!"...and then post my weekly results here. I will prolly bitch about the exercise and eating every effin day, but Mondays are results day...hopefully good results.

If I skip out on Moo Moo Mommy Monday...check on me. Debbie may have me. Please help me kill her.

Anyway...happy mooing mommies!

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