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I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.

I AM CRAZY! I AM SNARKY! I AM CRASS! I AM A SMART ASS!

Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)






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WARNING! WARNING!

WARNING! WARNING!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My name is April, and I am a GDA

I love Christmas! I love Christmas shopping! I love wrapping presents (ok, that is a stretch...I like wrapping the first 5 or 6. Then my ADD kicks in!). I am 32 years old and I have been shopping for my own gift to give since I started working when I was 16 years old. I was so incredibly proud, and I bought a LOT. Every year since I have made my list and checked it twice and headed out early so I could tackle the shopping monster. I have had many the adrenaline rush for getting "great deal". I would laugh at the smiley faced Wal-Mart sign and think "I got you this year bub! I shopped til I dropped and look at all the stuff I practically STOLE from you! HaHa! Look at all the money I have saved! Super Mommy wins again!"

And then I totally eff up. See if the story stopped there I would totally rock, but I don't. My first problem is I am a "good deal acholic". I can never turn down a good deal. Enter my second problem...the Sunday sales ads. They are EVIL! Just dripping with all kinds off goodies that my children would just LOVE, and deals I as a GDA can not pass up. I am sure you have seen them. Evil. Pure evil. My third problem is I have selective memory loss. I forget all the gift I have already purchased. I forget black Friday when I conquered my list. Unfortunately I remember this when it is time to wrap all the friggin presents. By then it is too late. I have became emotionally attached to each and every gift. I have envisioned the recipients delight on how thoughtful and simply wonderfully happy it will make them. Nope. No way, no how are these puppies going back now!

Sigh.

So what I end up with is a broke wallet, too many friggin presents to wrap, and kids that spend an hour opening gifts like robots b/c I am saying "hurry up you can look at it later, you have more". For the past 2 year I have found my super special gifts in the bottom of their closets in September. Guess they weren't that super special after all. They really were, if the kids did not get so much. I use the excuse that we don't buy a lot during the year. I am not a mommy that goes to Wal-Mart every week and they get a toy. So Christmas I tend to go overboard.

I have figured out it is a nasty conspiracy. See there are a lot of people like me. There people like my aunt that have their complete list purchased by September and they stay away from stores and ads. They are the saving shopper. I am the spend more, and more, and more. I think there more people like me. Especially mommies.

I am taking a new approach this year. I am not going shopping on black Friday. I am making a specific list of a limited amount of items. The biggest thing I am going to do is place the amount of money for each child in their own envelope. I can only spend that money. When it is gone, it is gone. Gifts, stocking stuffers and all.

Wish me luck!

(Oh wait, is that a Nintendo DS for $98 on Friday...effing smiley face!)

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