WELCOME! COME IN AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!



I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.

I AM CRAZY! I AM SNARKY! I AM CRASS! I AM A SMART ASS!

Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)






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WARNING! WARNING!

WARNING! WARNING!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Back to life, Back to reality

Yeah! I am all better! I took Tuesday off also and slept all friggin day-all day! Dean told me I needed to get better b/c he was bored and ready to go back to work. Since Laney-Claire has became so mobile you get very little done. Very. Little. She can get around quick as a whip, so if you are not right there something could happen. This equals boring on some levels. Today was not that bad. I enjoyed watching all the Veterans Day stuff on Fox News (yes, I am that kinda person). So my day progressed lovely, UNTIL I went to get the big kids from school. In my world some days are good and some days are bad...well today was bad, for my son.
He received his signed papers today. I am going to say I know I am tough. I expect good grades. I care. I mean my kids don't get spankings or sent to bed without dinner for bad grades, but "extras" are taken away. Anyway, he got a D on his vocab test. He got a D, A FRIGGIN D! On spelling? Oh hell no! So I tell him he has to write the words 20Xs and no over nights until next weeks grades (a side note, he is going to DAs this weekend, so he would not have over nights this week anyway, it just sounded good). I could almost see his relief. Matt does not have a poker face, or mouth. He then mentioned something about phone restriction--ahhh! I can see clearly now the rain is gone! This past week he has been attached to the phone. On Saturday night (while he was at an overnight) a little girl called. Ding, ding, ding...we have a winner. So I quickly added to the punishment that if he received another D he would be on phone restriction until report cards.
WTH! He is 10 effin years old! I should not be fighting the "girls" monster yet! Ugh! I am not happy with the situation. (What I am about to say is MY OPINION). I do not think that little girls should call little boys. There, I said it. I am my grandmother. I informed my older daughter of this on the way to the grocery store (that tells you how thick it got at home if I volunteered to go to the market). She does not agree. I hope one day she will see it my way and understand that no daughter of mine will be chasing a boy. That's it. Case closed. If a boy likes my daughter, he can call her and talk to her politely. And she will act like a lady, not a dog in heat.
Anyway, she still does not understand. One day she will. When I got home I sat down with both of them and laid down rules.
1. Ansley can not talk to boys on the phone at all. (For 21 months she pointed out. She hates it when Matt is allowed to do something and she isn't).
2. There is a 15 minute time limit on talking to the opposite sex.
3. If your grades drop, no phone.
4. No play dates with the opposite sex. Don't even ask.

These seem reasonable for 10, right?

Ok I am sleepy. I will be back tomorrow with my CMA thoughts. Here is a sneak peek--Faith Hill, buy an effin brush!

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