I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.


Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)




Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Mama Says

I am amazed at the power of the word "whatever". Those 8 letters pack a huge punch. In our house it usually signifies the end of a difference of opinion...a not so happy end for the person that did not utter the magic word (usually Dean). He gets madder then a wet hen when I say whatever. I normally get the jaw clinch and a little eye bulge! Good times! I mean it is one word! It is not like I said "You are a stupid moron for having that opinion. My knowledge is far superior to yours that you can't even understand thinking on my levels." Did I?
"Whatever" is a word that the children are not allowed to say in "that tone". If they do they will be saying hello to my 5 little friends. Yes, I will spank (not beat) my children. I feel as though it is my civic duty so they will not grow up to be, well...democrats. JUST KIDDING. Geez! Really, my philosophy is a spanking they deserve will be a spanking they will get. I come from a long line of the "have been spanked". To my knowledge none of us kick puppies or have been to jail for assault. We are all law abiding, caring, and generally nice people. Well, maybe a little mouthy. I don't attribute that to spankings. That's just how we roll.
On that note, I must say it has been 2 years since the kids have had spankings. I have moved on to much more fun options of punishment-mommy torture. Before you get all nutso let me finish.Here is an example. For weeks Ansley had been doing these moves with her arms. I know it was from cheer leading, and that is cool. Except when she is doing this while walking through a store or at the dinner table. I could not tell you the number of times that I have told that youngin to stop. Well one night she was doing it again at the dinner table. I had enough. I told her if she did it one more time I would make her hold her arms over her head for 30 minutes. Ha! Well naturally my little smart butt said "I don't care." If you ever meet her, ask her if she likes holding her hands above her head? She sat there for 20 minutes. About 5 minutes in she was asking to get up. I am happy to say she does her cheer leading moves in more appropriate places and at more appropriate times.
See, spankings don't work anymore. Out foxing the fox does...for now. I just go with the flow and think of the best punishment for what the situation is.
I am happy to say, while they drive me nuts sometimes, they are both on the road to being nice, productive, polite, republicans. ;) (A JOKE)! We actually incourage them to educate themselves and form their own opinions.

PS. They have never kicked puppies either.

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