I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.


Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)




Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Student of the Month, Trash bags and Jump Ropes

MATT GOT STUDENT OF THE MONTH! Awww! My devil ball killer is sooooo sweet! I am so very proud of him, and Ansley. They have been at there new school only a few short months and both have made very good impressions! Student of the month! how elfin cool is that! He has made student of the month every single year since 1st grade! :) :) :) It made up for the D that he got on a quiz---at least it was in a subject he has an A in. I am not smarter then a 5th grader, so it is getting increasingly harder to help with home work. I take Language Arts and Reading. Dean takes MATH (because I SUCK) and science. We tag team on Social Studies. I think I get the way better end of the stick...or Matt does! HA! Anyway! I am super dooper proud! So yall have to deal with a little braggin!!!

On to another issue. My elder daughter. She looks like me, she talks like me, she is a mini version of me. That is not always a great thing. I am very, very clumsy. I take uncoordinated to a whole new level. She also has this trait. I am also uber competitive. I mean like "I am going to win if it kills me" competitive. She also has this trait.

These two traits do not usually work well together. See we cant be the best at sports because we ummm SUCK! I learned these limitations a long time ago. I don't back down from a challenge, but I am not going to a shoot out with out a elfin gun! I learned this lesson, and it is time for me to teach my grasshopper. I am not discouraging her, I am just explaining that some people have to work harder at some things. Just like she is a wiz in school. Some people have to work harder to achieve the grades she makes. Some people excel in physical activity. If she wants to do the same, she will have to work harder.

That brings me to this afternoon. My little sunshine came bee boppin in and wanted a jump rope. Why does she want a jump rope? Well, they are doing a jump roping unit in PE and if you can jump the jump rope 50 times you will be in the "Kangaroo Club". Ahh, I see! Matt and her best friend are in the "Kangaroo Club" and she is not happy with the fact that her name is not on that poster. Sigh. So my Little Miss Uncoordinated wants a jump rope. We don't have a jump rope. See, there is another nasty trait that my mini me has picked up...inpatients. She wanted me to go get a jump rope right then! Ummm I could not go because Chief was sick and I was on total kiddie duty. Aint no elfin way I was hauling my tribe to the store for a friggin jump rope...nope, aint gonna happen.

So what does Sunshine do? She goes and gets 20 plastic grocery bags and proceeds to try to make a jump rope. Very smugly, I might add. As she is working she says "I am like my mama, I think I can do anything." (Oh Lord! Do I really think that!...Does she think I really think that?)


So she ties all these bags together as Dean and I look on in amazement. When she is done she jumps up and tries it. No go! The bags are too light. This does not discourage my little inventive child. She decided she would make one with garbage bags.

By this point I was thoroughly intrigued. I jumped in and we cut up bags and braided them together. We had to apply some duct tape in a few spots...but we made us a damn good jump rope. Yipee!



So the big test came. She tried it out. It worked! Only, she does not work. She can only get about 3 jumps in before she gets tangled up. My poor baby. She has until next Wednesday to get this down so she can get her name on the "Kangaroo Club" list. If I were a betting woman, I would be her name is up there next week. She might be clumsy, but she is prideful. She told me that the only reason why she cared is because Matt was in the club and she did not want him to do anything better then her. OYE!Photobucket

So it takes us 4 big lawn trash bags and about 45 minutes of work. Whew! I am glad that is over...oh no I don't! Here comes my son whining he wants one and he wants to do the braiding. Teaching an ADD boy how to braid trash bag strips is like nailing jello to the wall. He actually did pretty good at first, but soon tired. He was not the only one! It took and hour and a half! I could have went to the dollar store and back 20 times! I am happy to say that both of my older children have trash bag jump ropes...does that make me a bad mother?


PS. I did try the jump rope out. Time has not improved my coordination at all... I will just leave it at that.


  1. Congrats to Matt!

    Garbage Bag jump ropes... VERY creative!

  2. You're making my laugh!! How creative your little Miss is...I just bought them some dollar jump ropes from Wal-Mart. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  3. LOLOL that's so funny!! I love it! My kids would probably do that too. And YAY for Student of the Month!

    I'm stopping by from MBC ... I love people who actually READ cuz I do, and I note often too! LOL... Hope you find time to stop by my blog and if you like it, follow :)

  4. I just wanted to drop you a quick note that I have an award for you on my blog :) Hope you enjoy!!