I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.


Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)




Sunday, December 20, 2009

I totally lied! and I am totally strange

I did not get the blog/pics up for the 12 days of Christmas. I suck and should be destroyed. Please spare me for my family. They don't know what they would do without there total nut job leader!

Seriously, I will TRY to get it up tomorrow. I have a big day planed, so I am not promising. The big kiddies and I are treckin out to the mall. Why you ask? Because my 9 year old has actually showed an interest in being a little girl! She is normally so wrapped up in being a tween. I long for the baby doll days and playing "mama and baby".
She wants a new build a bear. Yeah, I know...she has been sucked into an awful cultish obsession...but if she wants to be a kid, I am all for it!

Matty is the tag a long. He informed me last night he wanted a certain John Cena shirt for Christmas. Why do kids do that? Ugh! I, of course, went online to see if I could find this wonderful jewel. It was sold out. Apparently all the other little almost 11 year olds moms beat me to it...curses batman.

So I am looking for a make up gift. (Why, I have no idea. I finished shopping for them a few weeks ago). He kept telling me about the WWE sunggie. He said some of the wrestlers came out in them last week. (On a side note, how silly is that for grown ass men to be walking to a WRESTLING ring in an effin snuggie?). I looked online, no dice. So today I found one in the K-Mart sales paper. I ran right down, and they were sold the eff out. DAMN IT! They are suppose to be getting more in...we shall see.

So anyway, tomorrow we have the mall and lunch. Then we are going to dinner and Dean and I are taking them to a dollar movie (Cloudy with a chance of meat balls). Busy, busy.

Today, Ans and my MIL hit up Kmart for the sold out snuggie and Laney Claire a big girl car seat. We found a few other things...evil store.

We came home and watched The Wizard of Oz. Is it strange for a 32 year old woman to know that movie really well? My fav part is when the Tin Man dances. I get a kick out of it every single time :).

As I was watching the end I found myself thinking...if I was Dorothy I would have totally bitch slapped Glenda at the end. I mean, when she tells her that she could have went home at any time...she had the effin shoes...SLAP! Brainiac Scare Crow asked "Why didn't you tell her?". Then stupid "Good" witch says "She would not have believed me". SLAP SLAP. She wouldn't have believed her! Are you effin kidding me? Let's review. She went up in a twister. Her house landed on a witch. She is in effin MUNCHKIN land talking to a witch. I am going to go out on a limb and say if Glenda said "Click Your heels gal and get back home", she would have believed her. SLAP!
What a dumb bitch. I think she just wanted Dorothy to kill the wicked witch so she could be like the queen bitch witch. All I have to say is if April was Dorothy, that prissy ass would have a ruby red slipper up her booty. The flying monkeys were under Dorothy's command at that time...huge monkey shit turd on that bitch's head...that would be my command...but yall know I am a bitch, so does that really surprise you? LOL


  1. ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is to funny, I was watching OZ too but I couldn't get Nathan interested in the little munchkins! Teehee.. I tried... we ended up changing the channel. I had TV ADD last night, just couldn't decide until Survivor came on. But seriously - I should have thought about Bitch Slapping the witch, she was so sweet annoying it's sickening ... but I wanted that dress when I was 10!

  2. You have an award at my blog!!! Here is the direct link to collect it!

  3. ROFL!!!! Your rewriting of the end of the Wizard of Oz had me on the floor rolling! You are fantastic. I agree! What is wrong with Glenda? She should have been straight up with Dorothy from the get go! Thanks so much for all your awesome comments on my blog recently. I love yours too!!!!!!!!!!! organicmotherhoodwithcoolwhip.com

  4. Hi there! I have a little "award" for you at my blog... http://melner.blogspot.com

  5. I love your blog :) ...and yes I agree w/you...Glenda has got it coming! :)

    Have a happy and healthy New Year!

    Stefanie from http://pediatricsafety.net

    (...stopping by from MBC and now following you)

  6. hahaha Flying monkey turd on her head!! lol I am fully agreeing with this one and I am your follower. I love your blogs and I am now addicted. Damn you. =)