I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.


Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)




Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I mean really...


I am so p'ed off right now I can't even think! I hate being this angry! So I am fixin' to let it all out. SOME PEOPLE ARE SO ELFIN STUPID!!!

We recently moved to a new neighborhood prior to the new school year. We welcomed this move because we wanted the children to be in a more "neighborhood" type setting. I was also concerend with the direction the schools in that area were going. Well, Ans had several friends at her prior school. When we moved she called them all and gave them our new phone number. That was fine. We are only 20 minutes away and she still has play dates with one of the little girls.

Well, the issue arose the other day that this one particular little girl would call the house and just sit...not saying a word. Ans would hang up and the little girl would call back. Who knows what provokes children to do things. I made prank calls when I was a child. It is just a kid thing. However, it was becoming increasing annoying. Sometimes I would be changing the baby or have my hands in dish water and the child would call. You get the drift.

Several days ago she called 3 times in a row. I told Ans the next time she called I would answer. Well, she called tonight. I am going to mention that this child is calling from HER cell phone. This is the only number that I have to contact her or her parents. I answered and she played true and just sat there. I told her that I needed her mother to call me. She hung up. I called her back and got her voice mail. I politley said "This is Ansley's mother. Please have your mother call me as soon as possible". My phone rings again. She sits. I am getting annoyed. I have tried looking up her parents number, but had no such luck. I said "Hello, hello, hello...do not call my house again or I will have a trace put on the line and they can take your phone out". Hmmm maybe I should not have said that, but it was the truth. If you play on the phone you can have your phone taken out and you also can be brought up on criminal charges (I learned this when my mother caught me pranking. She told me that right before she spanked my booty).

So then I get a call from her mother. Ugh! This is where the stupidness begins. I answer the phone and I tell her what happened. She starts with her attitude...WTE (What the Elf!) Her kid is calling MY house for months playing these stupid games. I can't call her, because the EIGHT YEAR OLD is using her CELL PHONE! She stated that she would not let her child call my house again and Ansley was to never call her house again...like she ever had to worry about that...pfffttt. I said "Great! Problem solved! Have a nice night!" click...see she was wanting a "fight". I am not going to fight with an idiot. The bigger picture here is that her child was standing right there listening to all this trash.

You think the story ends here right...not a chance! The asshat called me back and proceeded to tell me that she was gonna kick my ass. WHAT! Let me rewind! dflkajdosfijadklfasklfjflkadakjnrifnaow...yeah I am pretty sure it was her kid that called MY house, yet she wants to kick MY ass? What kinda ELFED up thinking is that? I threatened her child? I wanted her to stop calling my damn house!!!!!!! Apparently, her mother was too busy smokin salem 100s and chatting it up on yahoo personals looking for her next baby daddy to actually parent her own child. I guess she was pissed because I ruined her mojo. WHO THE ELF BUYS THERE EIGHT YEAR OLD A ELFIN CELL PHONE! AGH!

Sorry, off my tack...anyway, after stating she was going to put her foot up my ass she said "Peace out Bitch"! PEACE OUT BITCH! PEACE OUT BITCH! WHO THE ELF SAYS THAT! Teenagers, hoes, and trash. Does she know who the elf she is talking to? I am a lover not a fighter, but I damn sure never back down from a fight. I have matured since having children and I have tried to teach them to not be aggressive, esp when the persons education level is about 1st grade. PEACE OUT BITCH! Sigh. What to do? Well I called the sharrifs department. I talked to a juvinal officer and he took down all the info and called my best friend back and told her that she nor her daughter should call my house again. If they did, it would be considered harrassment. Yeah! Wonder if she said "peace out bitch" to him?

So, I took this oppurtunity to talk to the kids about proper phone maners. I also asked them what they think a parent should do if a child plays on the phone. Matt said that the parent of the child that was playing should make the child call and appoligize to the other child/parent...be put on phone restriction, and have to write 400 sentance. Lord, I sure hope his kid never plays on the phone!! lol


  1. What a sad experience you had. She should have made her child call back & apologise to you.
    I stopped over from MBC

  2. I am here to follow from mbc, thanks for following my blog. I have to be honest although I am sorry you had that experiance and I agree an 8 year old does not need a cell phone but I had to laugh, that woman (if we can call her that) is crazy.

  3. WOW...that is amazing. I know I should not be in shock...maybe I'm the idiot because I am always amazed when adults can be so trashy and stupid. Your post was, however, entertaining. Too bad it wasn't just a story. I hope you don't continue to have problems with this crack lady. lol. I think your son has the right idea on punishment. I can tell from his response that you are a great mom who is teaching her children real morals. Kudos to you!

  4. OMGoodness!! WTH is wrong with some of these parents!!!

    My 10yr old keeps asking for a cellphone because supposebly everyone else has them!! Too bad honey! He has no need for a cellphone.

  5. Oh boy. When a parent actually calls you and says something about wanting to beat you up, that's it. Conversation over. I can't even believe it. What is she, in high school? Who does that??!!