WELCOME! COME IN AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!



I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.

I AM CRAZY! I AM SNARKY! I AM CRASS! I AM A SMART ASS!

Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)






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WARNING! WARNING!

WARNING! WARNING!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Curling is my current crack...

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I am really not an Olympics kinda girl. I do like the winter version much more then the summer version. I usually only do skating. Pretty much, that’s it. In 2006 Dean and I were neck deep in getting married, so I watched nada.




During that Olympics I heard back ground noise about this sport called “Curling”. By the time we got back from Mexico the Olympics were done and put to bed, not to be thought of by people like me until…well now.



Again, I was only interested in skating. I will watch here and there if nothing better is on the shit box. This is the point where I got sucked in…to Curling.



I must say that I often get hooked on one thing and I become obsessed. I have been through several phases in the past several years. There was the poker phase. I could not go to sleep at night with out hearing the clinking together of poker chips (yeah, strange) and I was getting in fights with assholes on pokerstars.com because they were talking shit about me not being a woman (WTF? A woman can play poker, and kick your ass thankyouverymuch…ask Dean). Then I had my Tudor’s phase. I became totally obsessed in everything that had anything to do with Henry VIII and all of his wives, esp. Ann Boleyn. I even went so far as to wanting to visit all of the graves of these dead mother fuckers. I mean they changed how the whole friggin country worshiped and totally just snubbed the Pope. All because little Henry wanted to come out to play. (And they say that the world is going to hell, we have been there a long time!). I love good gossip and a juicy story, and those scandalous Royals have it all covered.

My biggest, and longest lasting obsession is Louisiana and Cajuns.  I took that to a whole new level when I married one and then procreated.  Now I have a little aaaaayyyyiiiieee gal running around.



I go through my Big Brother phase every summer. We have Showtime just so I can watch those people fight and act like fools. That is kinda a long obsession for me. It runs from July to September, and by September I am ready for it to be over. There are many, many more phases…too many to list. Basically, I have obsession ADD.



So that brings me back to my current crack. Curling. I have no idea why. Dean was watching it one night and I became totally involved. I am asking him questions (like he fucking knows). It did not take very long before I started telling the people on the shit box how to play. They didn’t listen all the time…and they fucking lost.  I also like being on the red team. IDK why, but it pisses me off if the red team is not a team that I like.  Also did yall know that curling started in 1565? I do! Because, as my husband puts it...I am a dork. I am not trying to be a dork, it is just part of my obsession. When I get hooked on something...I must know every single thing about it.


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I have decided that I must be on a curling team. Not only on the curling team, but I want to be the Skip. I am really good at figuring things out and I am DAMN GOOD at bossing people around. There are just a couple of issues that I have to clear up before the 2014 games.



1. We gotta get some kinda stick approved so when I have to throw the stone I don’t have to bend my fat ass over. (Ha! You think I am going to lose weight?)



2. I have to get a place to practice. I live in the deeeeeep south, so there are not too many frozen ponds to do the sling and sweep. I thought about the roller ring, but Dean said that would not work that well. Sigh.



3. I need sponsorships. I looked up how much the stones cost (I shit you not, I totally did look it up) and the sites I went to did not even list prices. In my world, that means that I am too po to afford what they are selling.



So if anyone wants to get behind my redneck curling team, hit me up. Better hurry up…my attention is leaning to other adventures…my nervous tick is starting to kick in…

9 comments:

  1. I have a slight obsession with curling myself... I don't know what it is... The sweeping? The rock? The sliding on ice? The target? Totally not sure but I'll be on your curling team! LOL

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  2. Curling is a lot of fun, actually, especially if you like social sports.

    And who doesn't love a sport where women get to yell "hurry, hard!!"

    ;)

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  3. i have no idea about curling .. but TOTALLY get your obsessive personality. I suffer from it myself. Fondant is my latest one .. shit you not, i would go to bed with fondant on the brain, and have some GREAT idea that HAD to work and i could.not.sleep until i got my ass up at 3am and tried it.
    obsessed.

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  4. HURRY HARD! LOL!!! I think that people like to watch it b/c it is something they think they can actually do. I know my fat ass can't even lace on skates, so the things they do in figure skating are way unnatural.

    Stasha- you can totally be on the curling team!!! We will have to find baby sitters for 2014 while we go live in the Olympic Village. Party time! lol

    Karrah- Fondant is another thing that I am on the verg of obsessing over. I have not went there yet, but I know it is coming. The only thing that has put on the breaks is my no sweets promise. After Easter, it is on like donkey kong!

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  5. There is a "hot curler" on the US team. IDK his name - I saw his picture on someone's blog. That's all I know about the sport. Sad, really.

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  6. (shamfully hanging head) Well the 2nd game I ever watched was the Canadian men, who are all hoooooooooootttttttttttttt...well, there is like one that aint, but most of them are. That did help keep my interest in the sport! lol

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  7. Count me in on your team!!!! I'm all for it lol.

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  8. I want in too!!!
    Lets do this!

    did i mention that I am cajun...that makes you love me more right? or are you over that???

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  9. I want in on this team! Im sooo redneck and I like curling,see I would work out perfectly for the team!
    New follower from MBC FFF,feel free to check out my blog peasterpeach.blogspot.com!

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