Dude that could totally be a Weird Al song!!!!!!! I hope I don't have to get any money to Bad Company!........................................ANYWAY.....................................
Dean and I had our very first date on my birthday. I am going to admit, I was not in a place where I wanted a relationship. In my mind he was just another “internet jerk off”. I had had my fill of them. I only went on a second date because 1. it was my very first Easter without my kiddies and 2. a guy that my friend was dating told me that I needed to not judge every internet man by the frogs I…er…kissed…yeah kissed.
We went to a movie (Hitch) and to lunch (Macaroni Grill) and then to the store to get my kiddies a few things for Easter. That is what I do when I miss them. I buy shit. I better be a fucking millionaire when they move out.
That day I started to like my new friend. He was different. Internet frogs would not have given a shit about going to pick out stuff for a 4 and 6 year old. Dean did. We had a great day. More importantly, I could be myself. I was myself from day one (I will tell y’all more about that later). And he liked me.
His birthday is 9 days after mine. On his birthday we went to play Put Put and then we took a trip to Wal-mart. Raskel Flatts’ song “Broken Road” was popular at that time, so I wanted to get him the CD. Well…
We pulled into the parking place and sat there for a few minutes. Then we kissed. When I say we kissed, there was tongue. By no means were we groping each other (there was a huge friggin center console thingy in between us). We kissed a few times then talked then kissed a few more times, you know…all that shit you do when you first start dating.
I am going to stop right here and let y’all know that I am not a fan of wild public displays of affection. If you want to play tonsil hockey and feel each other up…do it at home. I am also going to say that we were in the truck, 2 country miles from the front door. I am going to add…we were just kissing, not muggin down.
Anyway, we get out and go walking hand in hand the 2 country miles into the store. I get him the CD and go about our business of checking out and walking the 2 country miles back to the truck. When we got in I noticed a piece of paper under the wiper on his side. Hmm. Dean grabbed it, read it, and handed it to me. The note said:
EWWW. GET A ROOM!
OMFG! I had no idea that anyone was WATCHING US! Not that I cared b/c we were not acting like horny teenagers, but it creped me out that someone was watching. Then I died laughing. I mean, someone too their friggin time to find a piece of paper, write a note, get outta their car and put it on Dean’s truck! How fucked up is that!
I am not gonna lie. I talk mad shit about people’s wardrobe choices (leggings were not intended for fat girls…I can say that b/c I am a fat girl, and yes if you have a florescent green mohawk I am gonna snicker), but I do not actually tell these people they are stupid or need a personal shopper. I also my crinkle my nose up if I see a couple muggin in the mall, but I am not going to tell them to GET A ROOM!
Oh well. Apparently they didn’t enjoy the show. We will try to do better next time! :0)