I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.


Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)




Monday, February 15, 2010

Baby, When I think about you, I think about LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE..(dun nun nun dun nun nun) Feel like making people throw up...(dun nun nun dun nun nun)

Dude that could totally be a Weird Al song!!!!!!! I hope I don't have to get any money to Bad Company!........................................ANYWAY.....................................

Dean and I had our very first date on my birthday. I am going to admit, I was not in a place where I wanted a relationship. In my mind he was just another “internet jerk off”. I had had my fill of them. I only went on a second date because 1. it was my very first Easter without my kiddies and 2. a guy that my friend was dating told me that I needed to not judge every internet man by the frogs I…er…kissed…yeah kissed.

We went to a movie (Hitch) and to lunch (Macaroni Grill) and then to the store to get my kiddies a few things for Easter. That is what I do when I miss them. I buy shit. I better be a fucking millionaire when they move out.

That day I started to like my new friend. He was different. Internet frogs would not have given a shit about going to pick out stuff for a 4 and 6 year old. Dean did. We had a great day. More importantly, I could be myself. I was myself from day one (I will tell y’all more about that later). And he liked me.

His birthday is 9 days after mine. On his birthday we went to play Put Put and then we took a trip to Wal-mart. Raskel Flatts’ song “Broken Road” was popular at that time, so I wanted to get him the CD. Well…

We pulled into the parking place and sat there for a few minutes. Then we kissed. When I say we kissed, there was tongue. By no means were we groping each other (there was a huge friggin center console thingy in between us). We kissed a few times then talked then kissed a few more times, you know…all that shit you do when you first start dating.

I am going to stop right here and let y’all know that I am not a fan of wild public displays of affection. If you want to play tonsil hockey and feel each other up…do it at home. I am also going to say that we were in the truck, 2 country miles from the front door. I am going to add…we were just kissing, not muggin down.

Anyway, we get out and go walking hand in hand the 2 country miles into the store. I get him the CD and go about our business of checking out and walking the 2 country miles back to the truck. When we got in I noticed a piece of paper under the wiper on his side. Hmm. Dean grabbed it, read it, and handed it to me. The note said:


OMFG! I had no idea that anyone was WATCHING US! Not that I cared b/c we were not acting like horny teenagers, but it creped me out that someone was watching. Then I died laughing. I mean, someone too their friggin time to find a piece of paper, write a note, get outta their car and put it on Dean’s truck! How fucked up is that!

I am not gonna lie. I talk mad shit about people’s wardrobe choices (leggings were not intended for fat girls…I can say that b/c I am a fat girl, and yes if you have a florescent green mohawk I am gonna snicker), but I do not actually tell these people they are stupid or need a personal shopper. I also my crinkle my nose up if I see a couple muggin in the mall, but I am not going to tell them to GET A ROOM!

Oh well. Apparently they didn’t enjoy the show. We will try to do better next time! :0)


  1. Sorry I left you that note. I was just jealous because you were getting so much action.

  2. PS Your Dean sounds like a keeper. For reals. What a sweet story. Loved it.

  3. Awwww so cute i could barf! lol love you Apes