Curling is my current crack...

I am really not an Olympics kinda girl. I do like the winter version much more then the summer version. I usually only do skating. Pretty much, that’s it. In 2006 Dean and I were neck deep in getting married, so I watched nada.




During that Olympics I heard back ground noise about this sport called “Curling”. By the time we got back from Mexico the Olympics were done and put to bed, not to be thought of by people like me until…well now.



Again, I was only interested in skating. I will watch here and there if nothing better is on the shit box. This is the point where I got sucked in…to Curling.



I must say that I often get hooked on one thing and I become obsessed. I have been through several phases in the past several years. There was the poker phase. I could not go to sleep at night with out hearing the clinking together of poker chips (yeah, strange) and I was getting in fights with assholes on pokerstars.com because they were talking shit about me not being a woman (WTF? A woman can play poker, and kick your ass thankyouverymuch…ask Dean). Then I had my Tudor’s phase. I became totally obsessed in everything that had anything to do with Henry VIII and all of his wives, esp. Ann Boleyn. I even went so far as to wanting to visit all of the graves of these dead mother fuckers. I mean they changed how the whole friggin country worshiped and totally just snubbed the Pope. All because little Henry wanted to come out to play. (And they say that the world is going to hell, we have been there a long time!). I love good gossip and a juicy story, and those scandalous Royals have it all covered.

My biggest, and longest lasting obsession is Louisiana and Cajuns.  I took that to a whole new level when I married one and then procreated.  Now I have a little aaaaayyyyiiiieee gal running around.



I go through my Big Brother phase every summer. We have Showtime just so I can watch those people fight and act like fools. That is kinda a long obsession for me. It runs from July to September, and by September I am ready for it to be over. There are many, many more phases…too many to list. Basically, I have obsession ADD.



So that brings me back to my current crack. Curling. I have no idea why. Dean was watching it one night and I became totally involved. I am asking him questions (like he fucking knows). It did not take very long before I started telling the people on the shit box how to play. They didn’t listen all the time…and they fucking lost.  I also like being on the red team. IDK why, but it pisses me off if the red team is not a team that I like.  Also did yall know that curling started in 1565? I do! Because, as my husband puts it...I am a dork. I am not trying to be a dork, it is just part of my obsession. When I get hooked on something...I must know every single thing about it.







I have decided that I must be on a curling team. Not only on the curling team, but I want to be the Skip. I am really good at figuring things out and I am DAMN GOOD at bossing people around. There are just a couple of issues that I have to clear up before the 2014 games.



1. We gotta get some kinda stick approved so when I have to throw the stone I don’t have to bend my fat ass over. (Ha! You think I am going to lose weight?)



2. I have to get a place to practice. I live in the deeeeeep south, so there are not too many frozen ponds to do the sling and sweep. I thought about the roller ring, but Dean said that would not work that well. Sigh.



3. I need sponsorships. I looked up how much the stones cost (I shit you not, I totally did look it up) and the sites I went to did not even list prices. In my world, that means that I am too po to afford what they are selling.



So if anyone wants to get behind my redneck curling team, hit me up. Better hurry up…my attention is leaning to other adventures…my nervous tick is starting to kick in…