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I have been cruising the mommy blog directories, so I felt like I should put up a disclaimer for the new folks.

I AM CRAZY! I AM SNARKY! I AM CRASS! I AM A SMART ASS!

Yep! I am all of the above, with a little bit of nice rolled in for good measure (although I don’t show that often). I started this blog just wanting to shoot the shit…yes I do use potty words, they make me feel grown up (kinda)…and after 2 + months I have decided that is what I want to keep on doing. I love give away moms and PR moms rock…that is just not what I started this site for. The only thing I might give away is a small piece of my brain (I can’t afford a big piece, I would have nada left). I will dance for comments and I love followers, not just for the sake of following. If you like who I am and what I do- Follow me Bitches. If not, that is cool.

I am a non baby wearing, put your ass in a crib, drink from a bottle and a spanking you deserve is a spaning you will get mama. I DO NOT care how you raise your kid. If you want to breast feed until Junior High…that’s cool (I am gonna talk about your ass, but that is cool). No seriously, everyone parents in different ways. I parent the way I was parented and the way that 99% of the people I know were parented. I am from the south, so we tend to not be as “green” (unless you are talking about collards, I am all over that) as other regions. That does not mean I don’t respect others ways of parenting. I just ask that you respect mine.

I guess I should say when I talk about my awesomeness I am also being silly. I don’t think I am truly a Queen, or totally awesome…I have a few flaws…..just a few! ;o)






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WARNING! WARNING!

WARNING! WARNING!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

From the "Stupid Shit" File in my brain

Through out my life I have stumbled across a lit of strange shit. I have a file in my brain that is actually named “strange shit”. That is where this blog is coming from today…


One day I decided that I HAD TO HAVE some “old grandma house shoes”. These are the house shoes that all of our southern grandmothers have worn. These are the shoes that if you go to a laundry mat on any given day you will see several people shuffling around in. I decided that I must have a pair. Photobucket



I am odd in this way. I get one thing in my head and I just will not let it go. I looked high and low, left and right. There was not a pair within 50 miles of my house. I was pissed. I knew they still made these shoes. I saw at least one person wearing a pair every time I went down to the gas station.

I was on a mission. I went to my friend the internet. The internet knows all and could surly help me find some grandma house shoes. I searched several sites to no avail. I was becoming increasingly irritated and more determined. So I went to my ole pal eBay.

EBay has everything. So, if they still made these shoes…I would find them there. I searched the word “slippers”. A million bazillion listings came up. Since I could not narrow it down much (I don’t think that the correct name for these slippers is “ole grandma”) I had to look at all the listings. FUN FUN!--not.

As I was looking I came across a peculiar listing. It was a listing for a pair of well worn house shoes. (what?). I looked at it more and it had 30 something bids and the price was up to over 100 bucks (WHAT!). I am very confused at this point. Are these mutha fucking magic shoes? Do you click your heels and your house is clean? Is this a cover for some kinda drug ring? (Yes, I really thought all of these thoughts).

I shook my head and continued on my search for grandma shoes. Again, I came across a crazy ass listing for well worn slippers. Ok! WTF? This is way too strange for me…and intriguing. I abandon my original search and type in the words “well worn slippers”.
Cha Ch’ing! I hit the jackpot! There were 100’s of listings. I am even more intrigued. So I start clicking and looking and I just get more and more confused. Why? Why in the world would there be 100’s of listings for nasty worn house shoes?

I could not stand it anymore. I had to know. So I emailed one of the sellers (yes, I am a freak). I stated that I was in no way interested in her slippers, but I really wanted to know what was so special about them that people would spend that kinda money?

Have you figured it out? I didn’t! I was floored when she emailed me back that it was a fetish item!

WHAT!

Men pay hundreds of dollars to wack off on nasty worn shoes! EWWWW

I am not knocking foot fetish people. I am just saying that to someone that is not a foot fetish person it is slightly bizarre…and gross.

She also told me that slippers were not the only item they seek. They also like worn socks, nylons and their favorite is high heels. Most auctions are private so to protect the identity of the purchaser.

I got schooled. I must say that I sat there with my mouth hung open for about 5 seconds before I grabbed the phone and started spewing this jibberish all over my friends and family. My father (who is beyond an idiot) was on board with starting a nasty slipper business. He said that he would get them worn but I would have to be the model. Ummm, I don’t think so pops.

So, if you don’t have issues with men jacking off to your smelly shoes and know how to work eBay, you could make a little cash. I did search well worn slippers when I thought about writing this post. I have to say the economy has hit them hard. There is not as many listings and they are not going for near the cash that they were during the first time I searched this. Here is a current listing (so y’all know I am not just a raving lunatic).

Click here for a laugh (or to be grossed out)


Oh and for those wondering…I did get my slippers…not well worn, thankyouverymuch! (and the next week they had a whole rack at Wal-mart. Go figure!)

8 comments:

  1. OMG....I have just been schooled. I never knew. And to think I throw mine away.....what a fortune...I might have to go cry now!...lol Thanks for the laughs again!

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  2. I never knew either! To think! When I was looking at them I never in a gazillion years would have guessed what they were used for!

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  3. LOL! I love the stupid shit file! Hilarious...love grandma's shoes! I think
    you can buy those baby's at Walmart (shocker).

    Btw-your blog was recommended at POM's Connect MEme Monday! Check it out! I am your newest follower!

    http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Check out my blog today!
    http://extremepersonalmeasures.blogspot.com/2010/02/im-so-excited-that-i-just-received-my.html

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  5. Girl you are hilarious. I clicked through from Denise's blog. (above)

    I am wearing some old smelly slippers now. If I wasn't afraid of this grossness that would come of it I might consider selling them.

    What's up with the drag queen looking lady in the photos on the Ebay page? She likes to step on stuffed animals. Weird!

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  6. As usual, you have me rolling!

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  7. OMG!!!!
    I would have TOTALLY done the same thing! I am like that bing commercial "search engine overload" I can investigate the HELL out of something!
    I am TOTALY game for starting our own worn shoe store on EBAY...I bet i can go find 20 pairs right now!

    ready

    set

    GO

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  8. so .. here i am broke ass, and all this time my smelly old slippers could be supporting my family? sweeeeet !! it's on donkey kong !

    ReplyDelete